walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Randomize
