Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
did you just send me my own nude
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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