Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
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I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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