Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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