Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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