her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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