He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
