Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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