Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
