there's paper in my vomit.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
