You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
