We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
