what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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