so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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