I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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