Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
