You can't motorboat a personality
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
