well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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