Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
