I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
