Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize
