Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
