i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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