About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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