butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
