ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Someone shattered a urinal.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Randomize
