I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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