I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
