Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
