We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
