Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
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Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
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I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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