this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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