Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
