I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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