Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
