I feel like I'm in dance class right now
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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