I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
