Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
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Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
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Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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