just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
