have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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