Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize