When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I looked at my own cervix.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize