please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
