saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
