Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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