Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
