I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize