sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
You ate ashes out of my bong
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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