i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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