the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize