Buhtt sex?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
