please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
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I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
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So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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