Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You pole danced in your parka.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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