I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
