Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
