$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize