It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
In America we eat man semen.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize