NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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