first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
