i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Someone signed my nipple.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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