Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
