WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
