He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
