Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
