thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
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The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
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My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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