I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize